by Richard Eber
Politically correct (PC) culture is invading our society. Streets and schools named after our founding fathers George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison are in the process of being changed. Christopher Columbus is a bum while mentioning Confederate General Robert E Lee is now considered to be a major hate crime.
Even Francis Scott Key and Abraham Lincoln are being trashed by the Cancel Culture crowd.
As part of this process, pressure is being placed to change the name of sports teams nick names and mascots to appease Woke sensibilities. Faced with criticism from the Left, recently the Cleveland Indians and Washington Redskins decided to abandon their Native American heritage.
Who knows, such stalwart names as the Notre Dame “Fighting Irish” may be forced to become the “Crying Irish” adapting Danny Boy to be their theme song. Can we expect the Georgia Bulldogs to morph into Lap Dogs? The possibilities are endless.
In California it is much the same as college and professional franchises are fast at work trying to conform to new standards of decency put forth by Left Wing Zealots. With Democrats taking over the White House, so called Progressives are control as office holders and rulers of Internet content.
Below are some of the new names under consideration to cleanse the evil in competitive sports today
Anaheim Angels: Along with the New Orleans Saints, this name has gotta go. Any reference to God or religion is not permitted in PC World. If the franchise from Orange County wants to still keep the nickname of the “A’s” they might have to rename themselves the Anaheim Agnostics or better yet the Atheists
The San Diego Padres are also blacklisted in Cancel Culture circles because of the ill treatment by Father Junipero Serra and his Padre cohorts who founded California’s historic Mission system in the 16th Century. It is believed Serra was unkind to the local Indian tribes in building the Missions which linked civilization from the Mexican border to Mendocino County in the North.
USC Trojans They can keep their name but will have to change their insignia from a warrior helmet to a more appropriate condom wrapper to gain approval of the Pro-Choice-Planned Parenthood crowd. It is believed this more benign description of the men from Troy will encourage their fans to make love rather than war.
L.A. and Sacramento Kings: These teams ooze white supremacy, divine right, and a sexist persona where women are denied a place at the top except when a male heir is unavailable It’s a wonder that legislation has not been proposed by California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to ban the name Kings from being used in any context, let alone for a sports team.
Cal State Fullerton Titans with Tuffy as their Mascot: While this silly creature is not mean enough to threaten the cheer Leaders at a Village People Concert, the name Titan might have to go because tall people tend to intimidate short folks. We don’t want to create a situation where undersized fans might be scared enough to handing over their wallets at half time
UC Irvine Ant Eaters: These guys get to keep their logo with their Mascot Zot leading the way unless PETA objects to claims of attempted extermination of tiny insects by Rodent Supremists.
UC Santa Barbara Gauchos: Even if their mascot is a sexist South American Cowboy that excludes female Gauchettes and Transgender cow girls in their ranks, we might let this name slide. When I was attending this school in the 1970’s, the student body passed a referendum changing their mascot to be a Roach. This was inspired by a Crosby, Stills, and Nash tune that went, “Midnight encroaches please don’t hide the roaches” The decision to glorify this insect was soon reversed by then Chancellor Vernon Cheadle.
Los Angeles Dodgers: Named after the maze of street cars that surrounded Ebbett’s Field in Brooklyn, this name can remain the same. As I am a lifetime Giants fan, the term “Them Bums” will always be associated by me with this franchise that has tormented me since childhood.
L.A. Chargers: Given the ineptitude of this team no matter where it has played their games, we can leave this name alone provided that they power their squad with solar panels and swear off fossil fuels.
Los Angeles Rams: Their symbol of a sheep with sharp horns is just too intimidating, it frightens young Woke’s who are having a bad dream or rooting for the New York Jets. Changing their Logo to a baby lamb is a more appropriate way for them to identify with fans in a PC manor.
L.A. Lakers: They can hold on to their name even if fresh water ponds are hard to find these days in SoCal. Unlike where the franchise began in Minneapolis in the land of a 1000 lakes, calling this team the dried up Salton Sea Sailors, just doesn’t work.
Golden State Warriors: This is another logo that needs to disappear. Being associated with pro military types is a horrible image for them to display. Perhaps this team should make it official and call themselves The Wuss’s to be in character with San Francisco where they play home games.
San Francisco Giants: Hovering under 5” 4’, I am especially offended by their name. Why would a team deliberately discriminate against the height challanged? Besides calling this franchise “The Crabs” sounds more appropriate for the culture of the City by the Bay
San Jose Sharks: The Hockey team has a name which not only frightens little children and swimmers, is much too violent for Woke focus groups. Perhaps they can borrow the Banana Slug mascot from nearby UC Santa Cruz to appease critics. “No harm, no foul” with this move as the school barely has any teams to root for.
San Francisco 49ers: This is another name that requires a makeover. In real life the 49ers who immigrated to California during the Gold rush in 1849 were a rowdy bunch of drunks and scoundrels who destroyed the environment trying to mine Gold. How about renaming them “The rent controllers” or “Social Workers”?
Oakland Raiders: In case no one noticed, they moved to Las Vegas, so we won’t be bothered with them any longer. Given the team’s poor showing in the last 20 years, there might be a movement afoot for Mark Davis to rename his gridiron hero’s “The Flops” after Casino shows that fail to attract gamblers away from the tables?
Too bad the USFL football League failed. Shortly before this sad day The Oakland Invaders merged with the Oklahoma Outlaws. The new team was to be renamed the Oakland In-laws. That would scare any opponent into submission.
Richard Eber studied journalism at the University of Oregon. He writes about politics, culture, education restaurants, and was former city and sports editor of UCSB Daily. Richard is president of Amerasa Rapid Transit, a specialized freight forwarder.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Citizens Journal.
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