Editorial
by Al X
Let’s find out just how knowledgeable readers of the Citizens Journal are when it comes to separating Covid-19 fact from sheer lunacy. Below are a baker’s dozen (13) questions you should be able to correctly answer by now. Answer key is at the bottom. I encourage participation from both wokified true believing numbskulls and conspiracy theorist “kooks.” Let’s get started. Good luck!
1) Think back to October 18, 2019, before the coronavirus pandemic took hold of the world. There was a big gathering in New York City called Event 201. What was it?
[A] Oingo Boingo’s reunion concert, aka Dead Band’s Party
[B] Exercise in response to a fictional pandemic, “just in case.”
[C] Levi’s introduces amazing self-buttoning-fly jeans, the 201s.
[D] Premier of Nicolas Cage movie that went straight to Hulu.
2) According to the government’s own Vaccine Adverse Effects Reporting System (VAERS), how many associated deaths have been reported after people received the covid injections?
[A] VAERS doesn’t exist or Don Lemon would be all over this.
[B] Zero according to FDA “experts.” All coinky dinky!
[C] More than 4200 as of May 14, and growing.
[D] Dr. Peter Hotez never cites VAERS stats so it doesn’t matter.
3) According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), what are your chances of recovering from a bout of Covid-19?
[A] Are you mad?! This is a plague and everyone who gets it dies!
[B] Don’t know but from what David Muir reports, it’s grim.
[C] Slim, because the long haul covid will do us in.
[D] 99% for all except the very elderly.
4) What are the most efficacious therapies to avoid a serious outcome from coronavirus?
[A] Vitamins D (sunshine), C plus zinc will help ward off covid.
[B] Ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine are effective in early stages
[C] Close businesses, lockdown, social distance and wear masks.
[D] No therapies work. Cower in isolation until vaccinated!5) For what do the initials EUA stand?
[A] Title of yet to be released Lana Del Ray song – can’t wait!
[B] I hope it’s a new government program to send me more dough.
[C] Something evil white men made up to keep black folks down.
[D] Emergency Use Authorization granted experimental covid jabs.
6) What have long-term studies proven about getting coronavirus vaccinations?
[A] I’ll never get or spread coronavirus.
[B] Zero long-term studies. Recipients are jab test dummies.
[C] I can let Granny out of the cellar and give her a hug.
[D] I can wear my two masks with less risk of catching the disease.
7) If one should suffer an adverse effect from a covid injection, who will be held responsible and pay medical or heaven forbid, burial expenses?
[A] Pfizer if injected with their vaccines.
[B] Moderna will surely cover costs for bad reactions.
[C] Johnson & Johnson because they’ll be concerned.
[D] Better learn how to make a GoFundMe page…
8) Why should our precious babies, infants and teens be forced to get covid vaccinations?
[A] The filthy little suckers spread disease.
[B] They should share in the misery coming to their parents.
[C] Lord Fauci commands it thusly, and he’s always right.
[D] Children rarely get sick from covid, and this is a crime.
9) Messenger RNA vaccines have a long-proven track record of success, right?
[A] Bill Gates says the entire world needs to get jabbed, so yes.
[B] Biden says they are safe and effective – good enough for me.
[C] No, this is the first time they’re being injected into people.
[D] Ask a ferret if you can find one.
10) What does the phrase gain-of-function mean?
[A] Virology labs tweaking viruses to weaponize them.
[B] Federal guidelines for businesses returning to “new normal.”
[C] Results of new drug on the market to treat erectile disfunction.
[D] How government plans to track anti-vaccination sympathizers.
11) If you tested positive via PCR test for coronavirus and later discovered that your test was run at a cycle threshold over 35, what should that tell you?
[A] Make a will and get your affairs in order, the end is near.
[B] The results are bogus, according to both the WHO and Fauci.
[C] CDC manipulates cycle thresholds to increase or decrease cases.
[D] The inventor of the test said it shouldn’t be used for this purpose.
12) Why are any and all the myriad dissenting covid vaccination voices out there – esteemed doctors and scientists – being smeared, fired and deplatormed?
[A] They’re all Trump supporters and deserve what they get.
[B] Why can’t they be happy with safe and effective and let it go?
[C] Anti-vaxxers want to make people unhealthy or kill them.
[D] They ruin own careers and reputations to spread utter nonsense.
13) So you’re scheduled for your first covid vaccination. A trusted friend, the most intelligent person you have ever known, sends you a message that after spending the past year doing copious research, he’s come to the conclusion there is an evil depopulation agenda in progress and the vaccines are being used as bioweapons to attain sinister goals. What do you think now?
[A] Only a raving lunatic would spout such BS. Must destroy…
[B] He should be thrown in jail with the insurrectionists.
[C] I have a gnawing sensation in my gut that I could be wrong.
[D] I’m going to postpone the vaccination and do some research.
Answer key, with references:
1) B
2) C
3) D
5) D
6) B
7) D
8) D
9) C
10) A
12) Really?
13) Wake up and smell the evil!
Al X is a resident of Ventura County
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I was taking this test seriously going in.
It did however bring a couple more questions to light.