Happy Fourth of July! Here Are The Five Greatest Things About America [VIDEO]

David Hookstead | Reporter


 

5) Guns:

We have a lot of guns in this country. I mean, we possess a crazy number of guns! There’s nothing that feels better than loading up a couple AR-15 magazines, and just letting them rip until you run out of ammo. We have a beautiful amount of access to guns in this country, and the right to own firearms represents everything we love about freedom. They’re used to protect our country, we protect our lives with them and they’re a hell of a lot of fun. Go ahead and get yourself as many guns as you possibly can afford.

4) Hot women:

America is full of babes. They’re all over the place, and in this country we have the freedom to celebrate good looking women in bikinis. You know where you can’t do that? Iran. Iran hates the idea of a good looking woman rocking a bikini. Don’t be like Iran. Be like America.

3) Beer:

This country is full of Miller Lite. As I often say, you should never trust a man who doesn’t love Miller Lite. They’re probably mentally defective. In this country, we spend time shooting guns with hot women, and we sit back and throw down a few beers throughout the whole process. You know what you can do if you don’t like Miller Lite and other great beers? You can buy a plane ticket to Saudi Arabia and never return. The rest of us will just focus on continuing to crush cold brews as often as we can.

2) Football:

This is such an obvious item to put on the list. You know what countries that have both football and walked on the moon have in common? They’ve never lost a world war. The total number of countries on that list would be one. The beautiful United States of America stands alone above the rest of the world, and football is a huge reason why. Few things are sweeter than watching the ball fly through the air after a perfectly executed play-action call. Football is part of the fabric of this country. Anybody who doesn’t like it can go back to watching soccer. You won’t be missed.

1) The military:

This is easily the best thing about America. Our military is so badass that it’s not even funny. Have you ever heard about WWII? The Axis powers decided they wanted to take over Asia and Europe. We decided to knock on the front door of their little event and asked if they’d like to dance. By the time we were through the song, Hitler was dead and the Japanese had two cities missing from the map. We don’t back down from anybody. We have the best gear, the best planes, the best ships and the best men and women in uniform the world has ever known. Best of luck to anybody stupid enough to test us. Hitler thought he was going to take over the world, and he ended up with a bullet to the head. Nobody tests our resolve and gets away with it.

Well, I hope you agree with this list, and I hope you all have a hell of a great day. God bless this beautiful country.

Follow David on Twitter


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