Mickey Mouse and (Bad) Company

By Phil Erwin

OMG! Donald Trump is a horn dog!

OMG! Men speak in vulgarities when referring to women!

Was there some actual news here? Some reason for the media to be laser-focused on 11-year-old audio recordings of Donald Trump (billionaire-owner of a worldwide beauty pageant who grew up during the era of Playboy!) being a “guy’s guy” when speaking in private to a Hollywood “personality” about his “undercover” activities.

TrumpBeautyQueens

I am frankly livid at the “news” media for acting like there’s something new and important to focus on here, when the truth is, such conversation is business-as-usual for the male half of the planet. And given the complete eradication of all moral codes in movies and television this century, I’m not sure it hasn’t become commonplace for women, too.

Of course, most of us learn to lay the coarse language and vulgar references aside when in “polite” society.

Did I mention that Trump was talking to a Hollywood personality about another Hollywood personality?

When it comes to Hollywood, there is no such thing as “polite” society.

And for the media, the Clinton camp and the Democrat party to pretend otherwise, to feign shock and personal dismay, is the height of hypocrisy.

Oh, wait a minute… I’m wrong about that. The actual height of hypocrisy is for anyone connected to the Clintons, or anyone who ever supported the Clintons while Hillary attacked Bill’s victims, or anyone who still reveres either Clinton, to feign shock and personal dismay about Trump talking up his game.

If you think Trump’s on-tape vulgarities paint him as a vile human being, than you must conclude that both Bill and Hillary are equally vile. In fact, while Bill was (is?) a womanizer, you might conclude that Hillary is worse – a woman who enables, supports, covers for and accepts a vile serial womanizer while deliberately attacking the reputations and ruining the lives of his victims.

Come on, America. Pull yourself together. Get real, and get serious about electing leaders. Either decide that morality is important in your nation’s leadership – in which case, you cannot support Hillary, and you must demand re-opening all investigations into her clearly illegal activities – or decide that you care more about your leaders’ future actions than about their previous misbehaviors, in which case you must ignore the hoopla about Trump’s sexual proclivities and focus on what these candidates [say they] will do if elected.

Trump tells you he’ll end illegal immigration, rebuild the nation’s military, put an end to ISIS and the Islamist terrorist threat, re-ignite the nation’s moribund economy, regenerate the nation’s decimated industrial base, bring back exported companies and jobs, grow the nation out from under its astronomical debt burden, and thereby make America safe, prosperous and Great Again.

If you like those things, hold your nose and vote for Trump.

Hillary tells you she’ll… Ummm… Uhhhh… Oh. I know. She’ll give free college to everyone. (And I do mean ev-ry-one. ‘Cause there won’t be any borders to keep an-y-one out.) And she’ll give free healthcare to ev-ry-one too, ’cause it’s, like, you know… A Constitutional Right, or something. Of course, she hasn’t told you how everyone can have this free stuff without somebody paying for it. But no matter – I’m sure the Democrats, who concocted the whole ObamaCare thing out of whole cloth and rammed it down the nation’s throat – without a single Republican vote, mind you – I’m sure the people who thought that up and lied their asses off about how it would work are just the right crew to figure out how to fix it. And speaking of fixing it, she and her Democrat cronies are finally gonna fix all those inner-city neighborhoods where poverty, drugs and violence have reigned for, oh, five to ten decades. Those same five to ten decades wherein Democrats were in charge. ‘Cause, I mean, who would know more about the problems in those decimated neighborhoods than the people who caused those problems in the first place!

So if you like the idea that Hillary and her crew will fix what no Democrats have ever fixed before, than by all means, hold your neighbor’s nose and vote for Hillary.

But just remember: She’s made a lifelong habit, and a very sizeable personal fortune, out of lying incessantly to the public while she manipulates laws, rules and public opinion to support her private dealings. So if you vote for her, don’t labor under the misapprehension that you will actually get anything good out of it. The only ones who will benefit have surnames starting with “Clinton.”

And if neither of these imperfect candidates appeals to you enough, with nostrils sufficiently obstructed, why not get loaded and pull the lever for Gary Johnson? At least, you know he’s not gonna bother lying to you about whether he inhales. And he and his VP pick, Bill Weld, have both done yeoman’s jobs running state governments. Maybe Johnson could leave the governing to a sober Weld, and just go on another Presidential Apology tour, in which he brings along enough Colorado Compost to get all the other world leaders higher than Hillary on a Global Throne.

Maybe weed is the answer to the world-peace problem.

I dunno… Does Putin inhale?

Maybe we should vote for Jill Stein. At least, she’s got “Dr.” in front of her name. Doesn’t that mean she knows something useful? I mean, she did not go to lawyer-school, did she?

Ah, well. You can always write in “Mickey Mouse.”

What more fitting choice for the way this Presidential campaign is playing out?

* * * * *

Phil Erwin is an author, IT administrator and registered Independent living in Newbury Park. He would like to support some Democrat ideals, but he has a visceral hatred for Lies and Damn Lies (and is highly suspicious of Statistics.) That pretty much eliminates supporting most Democrats, and a bunch of Republicans to boot.


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