Friday, July 1, 2022
74.9 F

    Latest Posts

    Goodbye Constitution Freedom America by Don Jans

    Port Hueneme Police Department Makes Incredible Bust : The Toilet Paper Caper Arrest

    Sponsored - Job Posting

    We are a small but mighty business in Ventura, CA specializing in Civil/Agricultural Engineering and Land Surveying. Going strong for over 35 years. Looking for motivated team players for immediate hire. Candidates must have at least 3 years of experience in Civil Engineering, Land Surveying, and AutoCAD Civil 3D. Must want to grow with the company. For the right person, management potential. Wages will depend on experience. Benefits include paid holidays, matching retirement plan & much more. Send resumes to: [email protected]

    YCE, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Tel:

    Port Hueneme Police Department – Incident Press Release

    This is a true story with a little humor designed to bring a smile and a little laughter.

    Here’s our cheeky side of the story: The Port Hueneme Police Department refuses to look the other way on this heinous toilet paper caper. What we are about to tell you should make you flush with anger. We need to stop this lawlessness which is bubbling up from the bowels of our criminal underground. But our purpose is two-fold: we need to send a message and show people we are not soft on crime.

    On Monday April 13th, 2020 at 3:15 PM, a Port Hueneme Patrol Officer was rolling through the Port City Plaza Shopping Center located in the 800 block of North Ventura Road. As the officer drove by an occupied vehicle in the parking lot, he noticed an open alcoholic container near the front dashboard.

    When he made contact with the occupants, all of them were found to be on probation with search terms. During a search of the vehicle, the officers discovered the mother-load in the back seat of the vehicle. Officers located 31 rolls of toilet paper, 31 towels of various sizes, 4 sets of bed sheets and 27 tissue boxes. Further investigation revealed the subjects stole the items from a maid’s cart at a local hotel in Port Hueneme. While they thought they’d make a clean getaway, we did confirm they didn’t leave any skid marks when they fled the crime scene. This was an all-you-can-carry theft; outright toilet paper purloining; the kind of larceny that requires commitment.

    We can’t be soft on crime when dealing with these dingle berries who’ll stop at nothing to clog our streets with this type of behavior. Jessica Perez (25) of Oxnard, Stephen Talley, Jr. (25) of Port Hueneme and Tyson Castillo (32) of Oxnard were arrested and charged with violating California Penal Code 484(a) – Petty Theft. All three were on active probation with search terms related to theft and not to possess stolen property.

    We’re aware that this isn’t the crime of the century, but it’s a solid #2. While we are trying to protect our public from price gouging and hoarding, it stinks that we have criminals trying to steal precious supplies from our local hotels. These thieves would have inevitably attempted to sell these items on the toiletry-market.

    We realize this may have been a tear-able press release butt we were trying to have a little fun so let’s just put this behind us. If you rolled with it and read this entire release, please don’t hesitate to share.


    Get Headlines free  SUBSCRIPTION. Keep us publishing – DONATE

    - Advertisement -


    0 0 votes
    Article Rating
    Notify of
    Oldest Most Voted
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Jerry Rice
    Jerry Rice
    2 years ago

    As a former idiot myself … and convicted felon… indeed it is good to see the law enforcement not only prevail … but also make a stand on crime regardless how potentially small it might seem …

    Now having thrown myself on the better side of the law and the Lord … I am very pleased to see the righteous outcome here…

    Jack Schitt
    Jack Schitt
    2 years ago

    Too bad the young people are throwing their lives down the toilet. Not a bum wrap, butt guaranteed to wipe those schitty grins off their faces. Drop this Corny-filled Crappy Caper in the Log books. They can think this over while atop the porcelain throne.

    Vicki Achzet
    Vicki Achzet
    2 years ago

    Butt, at least they were caught and the cleaning crew was saved from getting caught with their pants down!

    Latest Posts


    Don't Miss


    To receive the news in your inbox

    Would love your thoughts, please comment.x