Progressive All Star Game

By Richard Eber

Welcome to the 1st Annual California Progressive All Star Game which pits ultra liberal freedom fighters against their dwindling number of political foes. This year’s team was very difficult to make as there are so many qualified leftists to fill the squad.

With the input of Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, this contingent is well qualified to assist their brothers and sisters in Washington D.C. to recapture the White House in 2020.

The Starting line-ups for these “Sultans of Anti-Trump Swat.”

Gavin Newsom at Center is a no brainer: Should the Lt. Governor and former Mayor of San Francisco win the election this November, he would become the top Progressive leader in California.  Despite the fact that for the last seven plus years Newsom’s chief accomplishment has come in the area of fund raising, he remains the darling of social equality and identity politics.  His work with gay marriage, transgender rights, and making marijuana legal, are the cornerstones for his qualifications to become governor.

Kamala Harris Power forward: The recently elected Junior Senator from the Golden State is already considered to be Presidential timber in the 2020 election cycle.  Thus far in her brief Senate career Harris has championed transgender rights in the CIA’s hiring practices and refused to phone call from President Trump on his Supreme Court nominee.  Should Harris be elected to a national post, she would make Chuck Schumer appear to be a Henry Clay type figure of compromising with his advisories.

Kevin de Leon:  Small forward replacing Diane Feinstein as a starter.  While running the show in State Senate, De Leone won top Progressive honors helping to formulate Sanctuary City policies and passing Single Payer health insurance that eventually died in the Assembly.  He is also poised to be the President of the Confederate State of California should they leave the Union and hook up with our neighbors South of the border.

Nancy Pelosi: Point Guard Despite her age and lack of perceptible accomplishments as House Minority leader other than blocking legislation, the San Francisco Congresswomen, still maintains her place in the starting Progressive line-up.  She is expecting to keep this status until losing her House leadership post and/ or retirement takes place in the next couple of years.

Toni Adkins Senate Democratic Pro Tem Leader who previously held the same post in the Assembly. Adkins will be carrying the load for implementing the Progressive agenda. With Gavin Newsom most likely as Governor, this well seasoned legislator should have an easier time dealing with him compared with his often “Moon Beam” like predecessor.

Coming off the bench

Barbara Lee & Linda Sanchez: Both of these congresswomen are influential in Washington D.C. in spreading the Progressive gospel.  They appear to be on a collision course running against one another to be elected Democratic Caucus Chair.  Should one of these legislators triumph, they would immediately break into the Progressive starting line-up

Representative Maxine Waters: As the reigning queen of the identity politics, Waters packs quite a punch when attacking those who are part of Hillary Clinton’s Basket of Deplorables.  From trying to impeach President Trump prior to his taking office to labeling her political foes as “racists”, the nearly 80 year old crony capitalist is still a force to be reckoned with.

 Katie Hill recently received a boost from gubernatorial frontrunner Gavin Newsom, as she seeks to topple Republican. Steve Knight from his Congressional seat. In making an endorsement, he stated that Hill has “dedicated her life to working for the most vulnerable among us” and would fight for LGBT people and immigrants.” Such credentials are similar to Kamala Harris and should make Hill a prominent Democrat in Washington D.C., if she should be elected.

San Francisco ‘London Breed and Los Angeles’s Eric Garcetti: As the current Mayors of California’s most prominent cities, this pair makes the Progressive All Star team almost on an ex officio basis.  Other than actually having to administer their prospective cities, the pair can use their progressive credentials for seeking higher offices in the near future.

Scott Wiener The San Francisco legislator has done more than his share to carry the load.  2017, Wiener authored SB 35 (which was approved as part of a broad 15 bill housing package that also included funding and other bills to reform housing production in California) including SB827Wiener has refused questions from a Fox News correspondent, saying “Fox News is not real news, and you’re not a reporter.

Coaching the leftist Players: Filling this post is retiring four time Governor Jerry Brown. This choice was unanimous even if he acted too conservatively at times trying to balance the State budget. Brown’s ability to increase taxes, push  Cap and Trade along with creating additional governmental regulations, made him a solid leftist head coach.  His assistant is none other than Willie Brown who has in his MVP career done an extraordinary job melding progressive ideology with Crony Capitalism.

As part of All Star weekend there will be a Slam Dunk completion for which contestants will be graded on their most favored progressive issue.   Gavin Newsom,  Kamala Harris,  and Maxine Waters are going to compete to see who can put the most pressure on to impeach Donald Trump.  Newsom is considered to be the front runner for this fan favorite side show because impeachment is further away from his job description than any of his worthy opponents.

A Home Run Derby will also take place where politicians will attempt to have Single Payer Health Insurance implemented. Nancy Pelosi, Kevin De Leon, and Barbara Lee are considered to be front runners in this completion.  The only problem is to be able to hit this idea out of the Park. Most experts feel is not possible without co-operation from Republicans and having funds to implement Single Payer coverage for all Residents/Citizens?

As for the three point skills competition that involves having expertise to have legislation passed, the leading progressives with a good track record of past accomplishments are Diane Feinstein, Toni Adkins, and  Scott Wiener,.  Unfortunately, Kamala Harris was not eligible to be a contestant because she has such puny track record as a DA in San Francisco and California Attorney General of getting very much accomplished.

This leaves us with one small detail about the game. As of now the Progressive All-stars don’t have enough competition in California from Republicans and moderate Democrats to compete on the court or at the ballot box to defeat them.

As a result the sponsors of this event are importing a bunch of carpetbaggers from Fox News including  Maria BartiromoHoward KurtzBret BaierMark FuhrmanBrian KilmeadeKimberly GuilfoyleGreg GutfeldMartha MacCallum, Tucker Carlson, and Sean Hannity, who will serve as Captain.

Unfortunately Bill O’Reilly is unable to compete this year presently being on the PC injured reserve list.

It is still unknown which rulebook will govern the Progressive All Star Game.  Both sides favor a cage match format but under California law such contests must be fixed which is unsatisfactory to both sides.


Richard Eber studied journalism at the University of Oregon. He writes about politics, culture, education restaurants, and was former city and sports editor of UCSB Daily. Richard is president of Amerasa Rapid Transit, a specialized freight forwarder.


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