“Nobody knows but me”, “God did”- Part 3- My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard

By Lang Martinez, with Bonnie Rouda



Like a clown, I put on a show. The pain is real and nobody knows and I’m dying inside, Nobody knows but me. 

My name is Lang Martinez and I am an alcoholic and addict, but most definitely a contender for anything else in regards to addiction. I don’t want to spend time writing about my drunk log – we all have our stories. So let me tell you just enough so I can qualify that I am just like you. 

I have been in my disease since I was 16 years old. I have 4 Prison numbers and I have been homeless too many years to count. I have had sobriety three times five years and I have also worked in recovery in Los Angeles County. I want you to know that having sobriety 5 years three times in my case was most definitely not a good thing for those who loved me. By having five years three times, I destroyed my family’s lives. Three times, they came back in my life and wanted to believe me that I would never go back to that life and hurt them again. They trusted me and I let them down.

Most of my family are dead , so I can’t tell them that I’m sorry. With my ex-wife and son I was able to do my 9th step. When I was able to do my 9th step with my son, I had to listen to him for 2 hours telling me all the horrific things that I did to him and his mother. Some of the things that he told me I did, I couldn’t believe.  I don’t remember those things because of my addiction. I cried the whole time on the phone. When I said, “son I’m sorry”, he replied, “I’m not your son and don’t call me that because I’m not your son. I  believed in you Lang 3 times and just when I thought you would be my father, you destroyed my mom’s & my life”.  Right before the conversation ended, his wife, who I do not know, got on the phone and told me I have two grandchildren that I will never know and I would never ever even know their names. After that she hung up the phone. This is what happens after five years three times. This is my wreckage from the past.

Now, I would like to tell you about my last relapse and why I know this is my last time of not going back to that life.  I was homeless in Oxnard and then in Los Angeles. I was dying, I was so bad in my addiction that I suffered from a flesh eating disease on my right leg.  Every day, it’s a reminder as I’m able to look down at the scars on my legs that will never heal. I also had kidney failure which I was hospitalized for. I had a catheter for over a month so that I could urinate and they didn’t know if my kidneys would ever function again. This happened to me in Ventura County. In Los Angeles, I was having seizures and foaming from the mouth. I knew that death was right around the corner. I know from experience that most would welcome death, because anything would be better than living a life like this. I chose not to die like this. I wanted to die differently. I always wanted, if I did die,  one person to say something good about me. So one more time I cried out to God and I changed my promise that I made to him three different times before. I said, “God I’m begging you don’t let me die like this and this time God if you save my life I promise you I will give it all back to you, please”!

Now I would like to share with you the Miracles that my Lord and Savior has already done for me In my 11 months of sobriety. My sobriety date is July 25th 2018. I needed a rehab to get back the foundation I had lost . I went to Acton for 2 months. After Acton I went back to Ventura County. Immediately I started keeping my promise to God for saving my life. I became God’s advocate for the homeless in Ventura County. I am a voice for those who don’t have one. I  was only 3 months sober when I began speaking on the behalf  of the homeless to the city of Oxnard officials. I also have applied to be a commissioner to be their advocate in the city of Oxnard. I am also on the care team at Mission Church in Ventura and considered a homeless specialist. Every day I work on keeping my promise. County officials today asked me for my advice in regards to the homeless situation in Ventura County.  I was asked by a city of Oxnard commissioner to take part in a documentary and speak on a panel that was held on May 9th called, Humanizing the Homeless in Oxnard which can be seen on YouTube. I have written articles in a Ventura County paper that you can read online called CitizensJournal.US. My articles are called ‘Nobody Knows but Me’. When I had six months sobriety, I was approached by a Christian publishing company called TULA, (Thank You Lord Always), to write a book about me and What the Lord Has Done in my life. I’m sure you already know the title. I have also been asked to do a documentary of my life.

Now let me tell you about some miracles that have happened to me. I had high cholesterol when I got out of Acton. My cholesterol is now perfect. I went to the doctors a few months ago and he told me that I had a blood clot disorder and that I would have to take medication the rest of my life. He wanted to take another blood test to make sure that the medication was the right medication for me. The lab work was done right away  because it was an emergency. Needless to say the blood work came back showing I had no blood clot disorder whatsoever. Last month I had a rare eye disease called corneal ulcers I was hospitalized for three days and went blind temporarily. I was sent to a specialist and he said my eyes are fine and that they are already showing scar tissue from healing. This happened within 7 1/2 hours. The eye specialist said he’s never seen anything like that in his life.

Lang Martinez- 11 months later

God has also blessed me with a family again. I have a lady who was my nurse and saw me at my worst. There is nothing she doesn’t know about me.  Like I said, she has seen me at my worst but still loves me unconditionally.  She comes with a  4 1/2 year old daughter. God is giving me another chance,  another opportunity to be a father figure in this little girl’s life. 

My Lord and Savior definitely loves Lang Martinez and he has forgiven me. Today I’m no longer the man that I was 11 months ago. I give all praise to God for you his goodness and his forgiving. I would like to thank all of you for believing me and loving me when sometimes I’m not capable of loving myself. Thank you Keys to Recovery not for just this article but for the continuous support given on a daily basis to me.  

         “I love you Marcus”!


http://www.keystorecoverynewspaper.com/ will also be doing an article in July by Mr Martinez.


Nobody Knows But Me: My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard- Part 1

Nobody Knows But Me: My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard- Part 1

By Lang Martinez   What caused me personally to become homeless living on the streets in Oxnard? Methamphetamine use. Being homeless definitely taught me a whole new learning experience of self-perseverance and survival. Bottom line, trust no one but yourself! My number one priority in life while on the streets was to get my poison, my […]


Nobody Knows But Me: My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard- Part 2

Nobody Knows But Me: My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard- Part 2

By Lang Martinez, with Bonnie Rouda . . I’m writing this article in hopes that it will shed some light on the difficulties and obstacles with trying to get help for sobriety in Ventura County. What I hope to accomplish is raising awareness of these difficulties and obstacles, as well as the need for more […]


Editor’s note: The formerly homeless author of this article told us he’s spent a total of about 6 years on the streets (non-contiguously) in LA and Oxnard and been in multiple recovery programs. He says he is clean now and taking one day at a time, trying to help local homeless people.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Citizens Journal.

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3 Responses to “Nobody knows but me”, “God did”- Part 3- My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard

  1. Karen Martinez July 11, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    Really you think you say a couple of things about my son and you shed light. What about all the things u did to me physical and mental abuse. Loss of homes, the crazyness. This nurse your now with doesn’t know all about you. If she did she wouldn’t have a child near you. The stories and lies what a joke!

  2. Langmartinez June 23, 2019 at 7:53 am

    I would like all of you reading my articles NOBODY KNOWS BUT ME? My article’s are not all about LangMartinez? They are about experience, strength and hope. From what I have heard by some readers and comments to George? I have heard people say , that it’s all about LangMartinez? I want to apologize to you that is your own interpretation and you are most definitely wrong. My articles are my own own personal experiences, not anyone else’s , I can’t speak for anyone else, only myself. My stories are only about my journey and the road i chose. I also dont want anyone to also feel sorry for me and the things that happened to me. Everything that happened was my own doing and I am the only responsible party. In my article Nobody Knows But Me 2 i talk about some of the resources in Ventura County? I want to also make it clear Ventura County did not fail me and there were other options that I could of done, but I chose not to and that was doing it Langmartinezs way. I have to be honest with you and that is i really wasn’t ready yet. What I was really doing is i wanted you or them to feel sorry for me. I wanted poor Lang and most of all I wanted attention. I also want to make real clear to you, when I talk about what I have been blessed with? Everything I have is a different result of Gods miracles, I am only sharing with you that God can do anything for anyone if you open your heart and invite him in. Also INREGARDS to my book deal or anything else that i might be given financially i will not except any monies. Everything will go towards doing Gods work. Anything and everything that I have doesn’t belong to me it belongs to my Lord and Savior. God blesses different miracles for each one of us . What God has done for me he can do for anyone and most definitely i am proof.

  3. Rafael Stoneman June 20, 2019 at 9:41 am

    Lang, you are a good man and you are doing god work. You are fortunate to have Bonnie in your life. Keep walking the razors edge and I will do the same.


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