Our benevolent overlords in the government have found another problem to “fix.” This time the issue is “social isolation” and the dangers it poses to mental health.

In a massive 81-page advisory report is entitled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” released by the Surgeon General’s office, we are told that loneliness can be as dangerous to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It increases the risk of premature death by nearly a third. It’s linked to higher risks of heart disease, stroke, addiction, self-harm and dementia. Ooh, that’s some scary stuff.

It’s no accident this report refers to social isolation as an “epidemic.” Trigger word! Emergency! If it’s an epidemic, the government must help! Since, of course, the government always offers solutions to problems it “discovers” out of thin air, this report gives six government-directed “pillars” of action to address the health hazards of social isolation. The report was summarized by Stella Morabito with The Federalist, and these “pillars” offer a remarkable blueprint toward total control.

Here’s what the government wants to do. At each step, visualize tentacles wrapping tighter and tighter around you:

• Build a social infrastructure. The government now wants to regulate and monitor the events and institutions that make up community life, including housing, libraries, parks and recreation spaces, transport systems, etc. Notably, since some people have better access to such locations than others, the report recommends federal interventions (a chilling term) to make sure everyone has equitable access. Conveniently, this kind of social infrastructure can be found within the recommendations for the so-called “15-minute cities.” Tentacles.

• Enact pro-connection public policies everywhere. Specifically, “Government has a responsibility to use its authority to monitor and mitigate the public health harm caused by policies, products, and services that drive social disconnection.” Um, why? Where in the Constitution and Bill of Rights is the government granted to “use its authority” to address these issues? Whatever tactics they use, “Diversity, equity, inclusion, [DEI] and accessibility are critical components of any such strategy.” Tentacles.

• Mobilize the health sector. This is done by expanding “public health surveillance and interventions.” Tentacles.

• Reform digital environments. Specifically, “We must learn more by requiring data transparency from technology companies.” Tentacles.

• “Deepening our knowledge.” To make sure the federal government knows everything, it will enlist “stakeholders” to provide information. This includes participation by every organization, corporation, school family and individual. Tentacles.

• Cultivate a culture of social connection. This, we are told, will be based on “kindness, respect, service, and commitment to one another.” It’s not hard to see how our “responsibility” will be to comply – without question – whatever woke policies are being pushed. Now those tentacles start to squeeze.

“Ironies abound in this advisory,” notes Morabito. “The pretext for government injecting itself into our personal lives is to rescue us from the misery of our loneliness epidemic. Never mind that government policies are largely to blame for family breakdown, welfare dependency, urban blight, attacks on free speech, attacks on privacy, and countless other developments that result in an acute sense of isolation and polarization.”

Having listed all the methods to solve this “epidemic” of loneliness and isolation, the government conveniently overlooks one major demographic: The introverts who want nothing whatever to do with forced socialization.

Yes, some of us by nature thrive on isolation, and that doesn’t make us lonely. Those of us who live deeply rural do so because we like the solitude, not because we’re social creatures craving constant access to “community life, including housing, libraries, parks and recreation spaces, and transport systems.” Instead, we want to be left alone.

Interesting, many who thrive on isolation do so because of the very thing the government has worked to destroy: the strength of family, community and church.

In fact, requiring introverts to conform with the “pillars” the government is proposing is far more likely to result in greater amounts of stress and poor mental health than just leaving us the heck alone to do our own thing.

But even extroverts must recognize the questionable “benefits” of these pillars. One-size-fits-all programs never work. Those who bloom with social interactions naturally create or gravitate toward organizations that best suit them, whether it’s a flower club, a church choir, a tennis club, football practice in the park, or even a “pride” parade.

In other words, a top-down solution is not the answer to social isolation. Organic local solutions work. The federal government can no more “solve” a “crisis” of social isolation than it can solve the crisis of ocean waves crashing upon a shore.

But when the government puts out its tentacles, it doesn’t want people escaping its grasp. Color me suspicious, but whenever I read about something the government needs to “fix,” I must assume the resulting solution will not increase personal independence. Self-governing people are a danger to the collective. The introvert spirit must be crushed for its own good.

It goes without saying that the issue is never the issue. The issue in this case isn’t social isolation; it’s making sure every last person is brought within the tentacles of extreme conformity and control.

None of this is to dismiss the very real health issues associated with social isolation (for those of a more extroverted nature). This was abundantly demonstrated during the forced government lockdowns during COVID.

But do you honestly think implementing these six “pillars” will improve society into a thing of shining beautiful perfection? Of course not. This has the same logic as that old joke “The beatings will continue until morale improves.”

“Each government program carries within it the seeds of future programs that will be ‘needed’ to clean up the mess the first program creates,” writes Harry Browne in his superb book “Why Government Doesn’t Work.” “No matter how much mischief it causes, government always shows up in a cavalry uniform – riding in to rescue us from the problems it created.”

Now consider Thomas Jefferson’s words: “The policy of the American government is to leave its citizens free, neither restraining them nor aiding them in their pursuits.”

Something tells me Jefferson would not approve of these “pillars” to fight social isolation.